Recently I had 6-7 inches of my hair cut off. Woohoo! Freedom! No more miserable blocks of time spent brushing out tangles, no more scraggly Michelle, no more worrying that somehow my hair will get wrapped around my baby’s neck while we sleep next to each other. Also, no more wondering whether I want to be a nun. Weird right, from a haircut? But seriously. Vocation affirmed.
In the Catholic faith we talk a lot about ones “vocation”, which is a word that means one’s “calling” in life. When I think of vocation I think of two aspects; one’s career, and whether one has chosen to pursue the life of a layperson or the life of a priest/nun/monk.
Until today, I’m not even really sure that I was aware that I had chosen not to pursue religious life. When I was pregnant with Miriam, I remember thinking, “I guess I won’t ever be a nun… nuns don’t have children.” I kept thinking of St. Rita, who did have a husband and children, and THEN became a nun afterwards. It was never really something that I seriously considered or explored as a possibility, but it was always in the back of my mind.
Letting go of the thought of being a nun means another step in embracing my life as a partner and a mother. I don’t see it as something to be regretful about, but as me stepping in a direction more in line with God’s path for me. For every weak branch that we trim, our trunk, our true calling, is affirmed and strengthened. I’m happy with this decision, and am happy to have discerned another aspect of my vocation!